Sex and Marriage

My last blog was about submission to God in a marriage and since I wrote that last blog I have felt convicted to write about “physical intimacy” submission in a marriage but every time I get ready to post this blog, I just cringe.  Not because I don’t fully believe in physical submission in marriage but because I know other women have different views on this subject.    


The scripture I am going to refer to is:


“The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.  The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband.  In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also his wife.  Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”      1 Corinthians 7: 3-5 NIV



Let’s be honest, I think (all of us women especially) if we have been married long enough have looked at sex with our spouses as a chore.  You throw in a couple of kids, stressful jobs, community or church responsibilities, sports schedules, carpools, and the day-to-day home duties in the mix and sex becomes just something else that needs to get done.  But not so…


In marriage, our spouses are our ONLY and I say ONLY legitimate source of physical and emotional affection.  Sex should never be viewed as a gift for good behavior or punishment when we don’t get our way.  Sex is NEVER abusive in marriage.  Sex in a marriage is a given both ways based on what the scripture tells us above in 1 Corinthians 7: 3-5. 


Sex is a way of expressing our physical love for each other in marriage and connecting on a deep and intimate level.  And it’s especially important during the stressful years of raising kids, building a business or climbing the corporate ladder.  Sometimes, our times of connecting at this level may bind days of back-to-back stress that make us feel like we are being cooked in a pressure cooker.  Sex is beautiful and it’s a great way to relieve stress and bring a closer connection between two people that are bound by God in marriage. 


God created the union of marriage for companionship in Genesis and if we could not control our lustful desires it is better to marry found in 1 Corinthians 7:9 “But if they cannot control themselves, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”


I’m going to leave this post right here but….. 


I know there is other circumstances where sex has taken place outside the marriage for some couples and it continues to create problems.  And there are women and men who have been faithful with living out the 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 verses in their marriage but their spouse has not.  This is something I would suggest marriage counseling would be an ideal option to work through these issues.

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