I’m back to blogging and today I am doing a book review for Jen Weaver’s new book “A Wife’s Secret To Happiness." Friends, I really wish I had this book in my sweet, little naïve hands before I walked down the aisle to wedded bliss nearly 20 years ago. It sure would have saved me a lot of time, heartache, and confusion but then again some things we are probably destined to learn the hard way. Hopefully, Jen’s book can help save you some time to lead you down the secret path to happiness much sooner than later! I will be giving a copy of her book away on my blog. If you are interested in a FREE COPY please subscribe to my blog. I'd love to hear from you.
First things first, it ALL starts with God. If you hear me say nothing else, it ALL starts with God when it comes to your marriage. Next are your wedding vows. You made some lofty promises, sisters...I know because I made them too. Now, this is where the marriage really begins or should I say, where the rubber meets the marital dirt road. Yes, those vows sounded so eloquent and perfect gazing into lover-boy’s eyes and witnessed by your guests and God but now you and he both have to live up to those vows until death do you part. Please, don’t kill your spouse this is not a suggestion or an option. I was speaking in terms of a natural death!
Most women love a good challenge and we waltz into our marriage thinking we can make our spouses what we want them to be until we have to accept after years of begging and pleading that we really don’t have a magic wand. That is our first problem because what did I say a marriage started with? Yep, that’s right God. It’s not about us. But we continue to try and change our spouse and our relationship into what we think it should be based on our wants and desires and maybe what we have witnessed in our lives with other relationships with our parents or grandparents.
Let me share with you what scripture says about submission in marriage. Oh, I pray I did not lose you at submission….it can seem like a dirty word to women in general but in the sense of a Christian marriage it is not at all a dirty word. Trust me on this. Let’s look at Proverbs 3:6 “In all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight." Then there is Ephesians 5:21 “Submit to one another out of reverence to Christ." Again, this comes back to God. We need to have reverence and submission to God first and our spouse second. We have to understand that our direct relationship with God should mirror our relationship with our spouses. If you are in a struggle or rebellion with God than your relationships will suffer too, especially your marriage.
God spoke directly to my spirit through several tough years of marriage when I longed for spiritual intimacy with my spouse. I desired so badly a spiritual bond with my husband that I didn’t yet have with God. God told me not to expect that intimacy with my spouse until I first submitted my complete heart and ways to Him (God). I was a Christian and had accepted Jesus Christ in my life at a young age but He was only my Savior and not “The Lord” of my life, yet. I didn’t have a day-to-day relationship with God because I didn’t know what that looked like. I didn’t want to bother God with all the aspects of my life but He wanted to be included in everything. I shut God out and only let Him enter when my life was pretty and nice. It wasn’t until I submitted all of my heart to God that He then gave me the desires of my wifely heart with my spouse by gracing us with the spiritual intimacy I so longed for and needed in my marriage. It was when I stopped trying to control my spouse and simply submitted to God that He then made my paths straight in my marriage. I learned that submitting to God made my love for my spouse stronger and grace was extended effortlessly where I knew I didn’t have the power or strength to extend grace sometimes.
Jen speaks of submission as a secret in her book. She also speaks of respect and love and how they go hand and hand for the man and the woman within a marriage. Just imagine for a moment what our relationships, community, and our marriages could look like if we fully submitted to God first? Remember what I said at the beginning of this post….it all starts with God. Our relationship to Him will always mirror other relationships in our lives. So, how is your marriage looking these days? How are other key relationships in your life looking? If your answer is not so good, I would suggest you start with submitting everything to God right now. And sit back and watch the Master make your paths straight now and forever.